Conflict is inevitable—in the workplace, at home, and even within ourselves. The real question isn’t whether conflict will happen, but how we choose to approach it. Do we care more about being right or about getting it right?
Most people would claim the latter. Yet in practice, the desire to prove ourselves often overshadows the greater goal of finding the best solution. The result? Broken trust, wasted energy, and missed opportunities.
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The Trap of Being Right
In leadership, family life, and personal interactions, our instinct to be right can sabotage our intentions. Consider these common scenarios:
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At Work: A leader mandates a solution without input from the team. The decision may be quick, but it often breeds resentment, disengagement, and political games where employees withhold information to gain leverage.
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In Relationships: Couples argue over toothpaste squeezed from the top or bottom, or how the dishwasher was loaded. These “nonessentials” become symbols of control rather than opportunities for collaboration.
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In Teams: Colleagues compete to win arguments instead of sharing insights, leaving innovation and creativity on the table.
When being right becomes the goal, the bigger picture—progress, trust, and unity—gets lost.
The Power of Getting It Right
The best leaders, strongest teams, and healthiest relationships share one thing in common: they don’t care whose idea wins. They care about whether the right idea emerges.
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In Business: High-performing organizations encourage debate without judgment. Google’s practice of psychological safety, for example, allows employees to ask questions and challenge ideas without fear, leading to breakthroughs instead of breakdowns.
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In Sports: Championship teams don’t fixate on whose strategy was used—they care about whether it works. Coaches and players collaborate, review film, and adjust together to find the best path forward.
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In Marriage: Couples who focus on shared values over small disagreements build stronger partnerships. Instead of battling over toothpaste, they protect their non-negotiables—trust, respect, and shared goals.
By seeking wisdom, asking questions, and listening first, leaders and partners alike create cultures of collaboration, respect, and innovation.
Practical Steps to Shift Your Focus
If you want to build trust and unlock potential, it requires a shift from proving yourself to improving together. Here’s how:
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Listen First, Speak Last
Hold space for others to share their perspective before jumping in with yours. -
Protect the Non-Negotiables
Set clear ethical and organizational standards—but give autonomy on the “how.” -
Collaborate Instead of Compete
Replace power struggles with open dialogue and solution-seeking.
When you focus on getting it right, you unleash creativity, passion, and potential in ways that being right never could.
The Challenge for Leaders and Teams
As you head into this week, ask yourself:
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Am I focused on being right, or on getting it right?
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Where have I let ego or control overshadow collaboration?
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How can I create a culture—at work, in my home, or on my team—that values wisdom, listening, and shared success?
The shift is simple but profound: stop fighting for the nonessentials. Start fighting for what matters. Because when you pursue wisdom together, more things will be done right—and everyone wins.