When conflict shows up—at work, at home, or anywhere between—most people say they want to “get it right.” But in real life, ego takes over. We try to win the argument, prove our point, or protect our pride. The problem? None of these behaviors actually solve the issue.
Great leaders rise above the temptation to be right. They focus on finding the right answer, not on owning it.
Table of Contents
The Hidden Cost of Needing to Be Right
The need to be right blocks clarity, innovation, and trust.
It shows up in subtle but destructive ways:
1. Mandated Solutions in the Workplace
A manager dictates the decision instead of involving the team.
The solution might work temporarily, but the team becomes disengaged, resentful, and unwilling to share ideas.
Real-world example:
A tech director insisted on approving every decision himself. Burnout skyrocketed. When he shifted to weekly collaborative problem-solving instead, the team generated faster solutions and morale rebounded within two months.
2. Office Politics and Information Withholding
Employees avoid sharing key information so they can “save the day.”
This protects egos but destroys trust and slows progress.
Real-world example:
A sales rep withheld a pricing issue that later turned into an escalated customer problem. When the culture shifted to “get it right,” team incentives changed to reward early flagging of issues—not heroic rescues.
3. Relationship Conflicts Over Non-Essentials
Toilet paper direction. Toothpaste placement. How the dishwasher is loaded.
These are never the real issue—the need to feel right is.
Real-world example:
A couple fought constantly about chores until they created two categories:
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Non-negotiables (safety, finances, respect)
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Negotiables (everything else)
Within weeks, the emotional load dropped, and collaboration increased.
What Exceptional Leaders Do Differently
Elite leaders don’t care whose idea wins—they care that the best idea wins.
They replace ego with curiosity.
They ask more questions than they answer.
This moves the focus from defending positions to discovering solutions.
They listen first and speak last.
People feel respected, which increases ownership and creativity.
They protect the non-negotiables and free the rest.
Values stay firm; methods stay flexible.
Building a “Get It Right” Culture
A team or relationship thrives when everyone feels free to contribute, debate, and explore ideas without judgment.
To shift the culture:
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Reward listening, collaboration, and idea-sharing.
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Stop arguing over the non-essentials.
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Replace “Who’s right?” with “What’s right?”
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Encourage curiosity before critique.
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Remember the goal: solutions that serve the mission, not the ego.
This shift unleashes potential—in teams, marriages, partnerships, and within yourself.